Why You’ve Forgotten How to Play (and How to Get It Back)

You didn’t mean to stop playing. You just got busy.

You started paying bills, answering emails, caring for people, chasing goals. Somewhere along the way, the part of you that made up stories in the backyard, danced in the kitchen, or spent an hour rearranging rocks by the river quietly slipped into the background.

And if you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “I don’t even know what fun looks like anymore,” you’re not broken. You’re just out of practice.

Because here’s the truth: play isn’t childish — it’s how we remember who we are.

The Disappearance of Play

Most of us grew up believing play was a phase — something you outgrow once life gets serious. “Work hard first, play later.” “Be responsible.” “Act your age.”

We learned to equate productivity with worth. We traded wonder for structure, daydreams for deadlines, curiosity for control.

But play never left you. It just went underground, waiting for permission to come back.

When adults lose access to play, we start to feel it everywhere:

• Life starts to feel like one long to-do list.

• Our creativity gets quieter.

• We get more reactive, less resilient.

• Even joy starts to feel like something we have to earn.

And the sneakiest part? When play disappears, we don’t even notice right away. We just start calling it “being tired,” “being busy,” or “being realistic.”

What’s Really Happening in Your Brain

Here’s the nerdy (and hopeful) part.

Play is one of the fastest ways to signal to your nervous system that you’re safe. When you play — even for a few minutes — your brain gets flooded with chemicals that restore balance: dopamine (motivation), oxytocin (connection), and serotonin (contentment).

It’s like hitting “reset” on your internal operating system.

You stop bracing for the next thing and start inhabiting this moment.

So when you say, “I can’t relax,” or “I don’t feel joy anymore,” what you’re really saying is: I’ve forgotten what safety feels like.

And that’s what we rebuild through play.

The Real Reason Play Feels Hard

Adults don’t struggle to play because they’re bad at it — we struggle because we’ve made life too serious to hold it.

We worry about looking silly.

We avoid joy because it feels vulnerable.

We tell ourselves there’s no time for something that doesn’t produce an outcome.

But joy doesn’t need a reason. It’s a state, not a goal.

And the more you let yourself play, the more capacity you have for everything else — connection, creativity, resilience, love.

That’s why I call play a form of self-care you can actually feel.

How to Get It Back

You don’t need a free weekend or a big hobby to rediscover play. You just need a few minutes and some curiosity.

Here are a few ways to start:

1. Follow the spark.
   Notice what naturally catches your attention — a texture, a color, a sound. Play is often hiding inside curiosity.

2. Add 5% more silliness.
   You don’t need to overhaul your life. Just dance while you make coffee, take the scenic route, or hum a song no one else can hear.

3. Name your play style.
   Some people find joy through movement, others through creating, collecting, storytelling, exploring, leading, joking, or competing.
   (Inside Playstate, we help you discover your dominant play style so you can bring joy back in a way that feels natural, not forced.)

4. Let yourself be bad at something.
   The fastest way to wake up joy is to do something for no reason other than it feels good.

Remember This

Play isn’t about escaping your life. It’s about reentering it — softer, braver, more yourself. It’s the reset that reminds you your worth isn’t tied to your output. It’s the laughter that melts the tension. It’s the spark that whispers, “You’re still in there.” You haven’t lost your joy. You’ve just been serious for too long. And the beautiful thing? You can start again right now.

Want to Keep Going?

Camp Playstate is a membership designed to help you reconnect with joy, recover from burnout, and build a playful, grounded life you actually love.

You’ll get access to guided micro-resets, monthly workshops, guest experts, and a whole community learning to play again — together.

Doors open January 7.

Join the waitlist to be the first to get your invite (and a free mini Play Reset to start today).

👉 [Join the Waitlist for Camp Playstate]